Queen of Denial

I’ve been thinking about my mom and her relationships with men.  Specifically her marriages; three times, fine men all.  What are the chances of that?  Seems unlikely but it was true for her. 

My dad died in a logging accident when she was 37, leaving three teenagers in his wake.  She married Neil five years later, a lapsed Catholic priest, born in England.  He was the only grandfather my daughter knew, and he did it in style.  They were married nearly 20 years before he died, leaving her a widow again.

Her last husband was Bob Bourson.  I spent much time with them but I didn’t realize how well suited they were until after my mother’s death (smoke, smoke, smoke them cigarettes…) one specific conversation with a neighbor stands out - who asked if Mom and Bob were married? 

Yes, eight years. 

Because Helene was always so affectionate while referring to him.  Like a girlfriend more than a wife.

Hmmm. 

In retrospect it seems like the two of them just enjoyed hanging out and avoided the serious discussions.  After Mom died, a lot of questions arose on her wishes.  Bob had no clue.  They were in their 70s yet didn’t deign discussing the inevitable. 

That disturbed me at the time but now I see their wisdom.  Really, what is the point?  So says the daughter of the queen of denial.   

There is no point.