Stephanie says

  I got a job keeping books (columnar journal method, personal computers not yet on the market,) for Sandy’s Camera, a chain of tourist shops operating in Kaanapali, Kona, and Waikiki Hilton Hotels. Owned by Sandy Colvin, an interesting guy, in his early 60s at the time, compact and wiry. I figure red hair and freckles in his youth but now he had that Grecian Formula indeterminate hair color.   The office was on Kealakekua very near Ward Warehouse, above retail shops in a 2-storey block building.  It was a gloomy suite with almost no natural light, interior paint reflectiveness dulled by a patina of cigarette smoke. We had reserved parking, a closely guarded perk. Sandy had ‘Private Parking’ stickers printed up and when someone parked in his spot, he’d plaster a sticker right over the drivers’ field of view.  That hot sun could bake could sure bake them on.   Sandy had been in the islands awhile.  On December 7, 1941 he was working ...

Mt Olomana There are big bugs in Hawaii.  No snakes - which may be why bugs exist in such plentitude. You learn to shake out any closed toed shoes just in case a centipede lurks within.  Centipedes can reach nine inches and have a venomous bite.  They move fast. I flipped on the kitchen light early one morning and a centipede fell from the ceiling fixture perilously near my bare feet.  I shrieked and jumped for a counter when here came Jim.  He grabbed a chef’s knife and chopped the thing in pieces.  My hero!       Laugh if you will but it took me awhile to identify cockroaches. I’d never seen one and they come in various colors and sizes.  Some are as big as Junebugs, you get out of the way when they come flying at you.   I spotted a cane spider in our carport, it was as big as my fist and according to island lore, can jump twenty feet, please not on me. There was a drive-...

  A local friend invited Jim and Michael to a cockfight, a new experience for the pair, so off they went.  The venue was located in a secluded area of the island and boasted a pit in the middle surrounded by wooden bleachers – which by this point – were filled with locals.  Guys.  Men.  They stuck out, being the only haoles, and were met with suspicion, this being a gambling event, and highly illegal.  Their friend had to vouch for them.         Pat brought three fighting chickens and fought two of them.  They fight down in the pit to the death. When a rooster is killed, the pit boss severs a foot and gives it to the loser’s owner. The rest of the body is given to the  winning team for a dog meat bra.     Pat’s chickens won, worth $500 each before the 1/5 cut for the mob for operations and security.     The fights were gruesome. Jim was pale and que...

We spent a considerable amount of time in and around the ocean and gradually acquired much water equipment. The first purchase has to be a mask and a snorkel.     Then when you see what you’ve been missing, (which in my case was needlefish which may be small but half the fish is jaw,) you go for the fins so you can swim very fast away from anything over a certain size.  Then came Hawaiian slings, a rubber-band version of a spear gun, and we took to the shallows to see what we could spear.     It takes gripping the rubber-bands and the shaft in one hand, then using the other to increase tension on the rubber-bands by pulling back the sling.     Aim and release.     But you are in the water which distorts size and distance in the human eye.     So good luck.     I managed a sea cucumber which might be the land equivalent of shooting a sloth.    

  Kaneohe Marine Base was about five miles north.  We got to know it a bit as it has a wicked body surfing beach.  We acquired permits to get on base and went frequently.  There’s a quick drop off with some sizable waves pounding the shore. And frequently me.  Between watching Extreme Surfing movies and being  derma brazed by wet, gritty sand, I had a recurring nightmare:  I stand at the shoreline and just now notice the incoming wave set sucked the sand dry and is turning into a wall of water coming right at me, growing taller and taller as it nears.  I have waited too long and am gonna eat some sand for sure.  

  We'd been to the Christmas Parade in Kailua, (most remembered for a Great Dane sporting tinfoil antlers in the spirit of reindeer,) and stepped into a downtown bar afterwards.   There  was a piano in a pool of light in the otherwise dim lounge, a woman at the keyboard. She talked to an audience of a few scattered people as she played, emphasizing her words with a dramatic flourish of tinkling notes.  She gave us a “hello” and a smile amid a few chords.  It was right out of a ‘Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In’ set with Lily Tomlin doing her ‘Bobbi-Jeanine’ skit at the piano.  It was hilarious.   We got a beer and stayed for the show.

  It was a lovely condo in a well-maintained complex situated in a lush tropical setting, the lanai overlooking a timber bamboo forest.  The bamboo grew six inches a day in season and one could literally watch it grow.   There was a steakhouse at the edge of the property that featured local beef and freshly caught fish as well as traditional Hawaiian dishes, and where we took guests visiting from the mainland.  It was outdoor dining, a gorgeous place to just sink back and enjoy a fine meal and a view of paradise.  So many shades of green, a fishpond, the steep peak of Puu Ma’eli’eli in the distance, the  occasional bzzzzt when a mosquito zapper fried a big bug or a gecko .