Amazing what memories turn up when viewing some random t.v. program.



I’m viewing my way through the entire Mad Men series.  Right now I’m where Sally, 10 years old, is sent to the shrink.  For masturbating, for heavens sakes. 

It brought up old wounds; memories of sending my daughter to the shrink when she was 12.  Because her dear friend, Larry, went out to his garage one day, plugged in a chop saw and severed his carotid artery.  He bled out on the concrete floor.  12 years old.  Police cars and ambulances flashing lights and sirens blaring at his house as I passed by on my way to work at the newspaper - so I checked it out when I got to work.  

I had such fear of suicide.  In my husband’s family (notice how I’m distancing my family…) there were five attempts; two were successful.  None of them were teenagers but the very possibility of such an attempt during those tempestuous, raging hormonal years weighed heavily on my mind.  Ty’s friend killing himself struck terror in my soul. 

He was this fun and clever kid.  He and Tyler sewed super-hero pillow cases in a home-ec class.  I still use one they made together:  Power Rangers, blue background.  I think about Larry when I slip that case onto a pillow.  20 years later and the level of that boy’s misery still impacts me.  I can’t imagine his mother’s feelings.  She has my compassion.

Amazing what memories turn up from viewing some random t.v. program.  

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