Amazing what memories turn up when viewing some random t.v. program.
I’m viewing my way through the entire Mad Men series. Right now I’m where Sally, 10 years old, is
sent to the shrink. For masturbating,
for heavens sakes.
It brought up old wounds; memories of sending my daughter to the shrink
when she was 12. Because her dear friend,
Larry, went out to his garage one day, plugged in a chop saw and severed his
carotid artery. He bled out on the
concrete floor. 12 years old. Police cars and ambulances flashing lights and sirens blaring at his house as
I passed by on my way to work at the newspaper - so I checked it out when I got to work.
I had such fear of suicide.
In my husband’s family (notice how I’m distancing my family…) there were
five attempts; two were successful. None of
them were teenagers but the very possibility of such an attempt during those
tempestuous, raging hormonal years weighed heavily on my mind. Ty’s friend killing himself struck terror in
my soul.
He was this fun and clever kid. He and Tyler sewed super-hero pillow cases in a home-ec
class. I still use one they made
together: Power Rangers, blue
background. I think about Larry when I
slip that case onto a pillow. 20 years
later and the level of that boy’s misery still impacts me. I can’t imagine his mother’s feelings. She has my compassion.
Amazing what memories turn up from viewing some random t.v. program.
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